How Bankers Think (And Why It Matters)
On our most recent podcast episode (click here), I sat down with my good friend Walker for a conversation I keep coming back to. We talked about Nelson’s book Becoming Your Own Banker, and the thing that stuck with me is this: it isn't really a book about life insurance at all.
It's a book about the way we think.
The Real Subject
Probably over 90% of people who come across Nelson’s book Becoming Your Own Banker figure out that he mentions life insurance, and then either never pick it up or put it down after a couple pages. The conditioning in our lives that someone is always trying to sell us a product is very strong, particularly when it comes to interacting with “financial advisor” or “financial coach” type people…such as myself.
It's about how we've been conditioned to think. And not just over our own lifetimes. It is generational. A lot of what we believe about money was handed to us long before we had any say in it.
The Labels We Don't Question
Have you ever noticed how easily and quickly people will misname something? Columbus called the native North Americans “Indians” because he thought he had landed in eastern Asia! They were never Indians. They have nothing to do with India. But the name stuck.
The words we use and the way we use them are very powerful. The words we use shape the way we think. The way we think shapes the way that we act.
Those who think of life insurance as just life insurance will never experience the joy of becoming their own banker. To them, life insurance is just a bill. For those who see what Nelson saw, they will be able to step into the truth…which is that a mutual life insurance company is really just a finance company that is buying and selling money…just like a bank. That mutual life insurance company offers contracts to its customers…just like a bank. The key is not to think exactly like someone else…either Nelson Nash or Michael Duryea. The key is knowing for yourself that you understand the differences between the opportunities (contracts…bank accounts, loans, policies, etc…) that banks and life insurance companies are offering their customers. Once you know the differences for yourself, and how those differences will affect your course of action as an entrepreneur, you will know what to do.
Thinking Like a Banker
The key to understanding these differences is to look at the way that a bank functions first, not a life insurance company. Most people are far more familiar with a bank and how it functions than they are with a mutual life insurance company.
Head over to our podcast and listen to the episode entitled “How Bankers Think (And Why It Matters…click here to get to it) and it will give you a great overview of this concept. Nelson’s book Becoming Your Own Banker is also key to this.
Once you have done that, you really only need to know one more thing, before you dive into the weeds. It was what Ray told me for years:
“Michael, what’s the difference between a bank and a life insurance company???”
“I dunno, Ray, you tell me.”
“The name on the front door.”
Michael Duryea
Emporia, KS
June 3rd, 2026
